Suffering from depression but not aware of it

THAT'S MEN: Men might be hiding condition from themselves

IT HAS become commonplace to say that men hide their depressionfrom those around them - but could it be that men also hidedepression from themselves?

According to US psychologist Suzanne Phillips, symptoms ofdepression are often missed, not only by those close to them butalso by the very men who are depressed.

Women tend to experience depression in ways that are recognisablein our culture: through sadness, sleeplessness, lack of interest inactivities they used to enjoy, for instance.

In men, however, depression may present itself in the form ofheadaches, stomach problems or pain, "something missed by men aswell as the people around them", Phillips in the Healing Togetherfor Couples blog.

The ways in which we experience mental distress are stronglyinfluenced by our culture. For instance, during the last century theincidence of depression in the West is said by some researchers tohave increased. That's puzzling if you consider the advances interms of health and income during the century.

But depression also became more acceptable as the century went onand this, it seems to me, may have had something to do with the risein the number of cases.

According to a study by the National Institute of Mental Healthin the US, the differences in how men and women experiencedepression are striking.

Women are more likely to put on weight and men to lose it.Women's energy may fall while men become agitated or irritable. Andmen are more likely than women to drink too much or to take illegaldrugs when depressed.

And where women seek help, "men have a tendency to self-medicateor avoid the anguish, sadness, guilt or self-doubt associated withdepression with sexual acting out, alcohol or substance abuse, riskybehaviours like reckless driving, escapist behaviours such asinternet addiction, porn or being overly involved in work orsports," writes Phillips.

These behaviours escalate the level of emotional pain the man isfeeling. The result can be suicide, a car crash, heart attack,stroke or a range of other outcomes. And it may never be known thatdepression was behind what happened to the man.

Stress is a common source of depression in both men and women. Inwomen, this stress is more likely to be associated with familyissues and in men with work issues.

As I said earlier, the woman may be quicker than the man torecognise that she is depressed because she can see in herself theclassical symptoms such as sadness and so on.

The man, however, may go on seeing himself as stressed, perhapssuffering headaches or other pain, and as drinking too much andflying off the handle too easily. He may never define himself asdepressed and therefore may never seek help for depression.

This may help to explain some of the - to family and friends -unexpected and baffling suicides we hear about. Hidden depressionmay be the culprit.

Do you see yourself as highly stressed in your job? Has thestress made you a bit short-tempered? Are you drinking a bit toomuch? Do you suffer from headaches or other pains you haven't toldthe doctor about?

If so, consider the possibility that you just might be sufferingfrom depression and discuss it with someone close to you whom youtrust.

Your general practitioner is usually a good port of call in thesecircumstances. If you prefer you can find an accredited counsellorat iacp.ie, the website of the Irish Association for Counselling andPsychotherapy.

As Dr Phillips writes, "Men often suffer alone. If they stop toconsider that their physical symptoms and behaviours might hidedepression they may be able to step out of danger."

Read Phillips' blog post, "Men and the danger of hiddendepression", at http://bit.ly/mendepress

Padraig O'Morain (pomorain@ireland.com) is a counselloraccredited by the Irish Association for Counselling andPsychotherapy. His book, Light Mind - Mindfulness for Daily Living,is published by Veritas. His mindfulness newsletter is free by e-mail.